Preparing for the Ultra of my Life
It isn't a small feat to take on a Half or a Full Marathon, it takes a lot of preparation a lot of self discipline, planning and organization and hundreds of miles of training in order to complete even a Half Marathon. An Ultra Marathon takes even extra preparation, many months of training and an array of foods and supplements that no other race less than 31.5 miles would require.
In Spring of 2012 decided to enter the world of Ultra Marathons, the lure of self accomplishment was like no other, and the punishment on the body a constant reminder of the great effort that most people wouldn't dare try! And at end the 50K Finisher Medal tells the story!
Training began and advanced with countless hours of running. I ran on trails, on pavements, and roads and even in the Wildlife Refuge having to dodge alligators and jump high over crossing snakes. Some running was at night with lights to simulate the later half of the race (the race started at 6pm and was over at 2am.) and to enjoy a little cooler temperatures of the summer in Savannah!
Ultra Marathons are like no other races! You show up at the start line and set up your aid-station (if the race happens to be loops) with all the "goodies" you have been practicing with and hope that will supply and carry your depleting body to the Finish line like a champ.
Ultra Marathoners are like a community of runners, almost like a family. They don't size each other up at the Start line or think "I'll burn her at mile 18, I know it!" There is a lot in common in ultra runners and one thing we all share is the lure of running with all it's countless rewards.
Unless you are a runner you wouldn't understand, and if a runner try to explain it, sorry , you still wouldn't understand.
As training went on, I ran up and down bridges, rough trails, in the rain and in the scorching summer sun. One day after a 17mile run I felt a small lump on the left groin lymph-node. "Ahhh...I said to myself, must be all that running" more runs and many days later and another lump on a diffident lymph-node. "should I slow down?....what's going on?" "Nuhhh....it'll go away...." Three months went by and they were not going away....but they were getting bigger!
"ok ...i will run my first Ultra and see what happens...and then I will have to do something about it!"
Above in the picture Bad Marsh Ultra from right to left, my friend Ken a two time Boston Qualifier, next to him Taryn, a fast and furious runner, next to her yours truly , next to me Mary, my inspiration to the Ultra running (she's an awesome Endurance runner), my buddy Doug, we now share some of the same stories, my son Michael who got me into Ultras, and last but not least, my girlfriend Lisa, my "aid support" during the Ultra and my biggest supporter in Life since then.
The First Ultra went as planned ...a great group of people ran a great race and had an awesome time among some of the best the Ultra World has to offer for us in the Southeast.
Now, I had promised to myself ".....time to check this out", "well in August we have a check-up race, the Half in Pooler, let's wait and run that one so we don't screw up the training and then .... I will go have it checked. " It made sense, plus it did not hurt I was getting stronger, faster and I felt great about myself.
The Pooler Half came and gone! Another Finisher Medal on the rack and still no idea what was growing in me! Although it was not hurting it was getting bigger (size of a kidney pea), now it was in my mind constantly. I could not really focus on my runs or enjoy my everyday activities because "there was something there and did not know what".
Oct 2nd 2012
Decision time .....visited my Doctor and after 20 min she said we would need to see a Urologist since the lymph nodes were in the groin area. The appointment was set for 3 weeks later, and I though...it can't be anything bad...they're waiting three weeks! The next morning my phone rang and the Urologist scheduled an urgent appointment for the same day.
Oct. 4th 2012
I was diagnosed with cancer. He told me a surgery would be necessary to remove the tumors and that would probably be all I would have to do! Then he asked "when is your next race?" reluctantly I answered "On my birthday Nov 3rd the RnR Marathon in Savannah", "Good, we can schedule your surgery after your Marathon since you've been training so hard for it". Although I was ecstatic about running the Marathon and I was ready for it, somehow I knew it was not going to be the same. Surgery? Recovery time? Hospitals? all that was foreign to me and did not look forward to it.
Needles to say my trip to Pine Mountain and my meeting with Dean Karnazes had to wait till maybe next year. My son Michael and his runner-girlfriend went without me. Michael met with Dean and explained my situation. Dean sent this video along with an autographed shirt and a few other things.
Nov. 3rd 2012 The Savannah Rock n Roll Marathon about to start. At coral no. 6 with Michael talking last minute strategy and warming up for my last race of 2012. Somewhere in the back was my sweet girlfriend Lisa running the Half with my beautiful daughter Jennifer and Michael's' girlfriend Linda. At coral 4 was my son Dimitri running the Half. At coral 7 was my friend Barry and another two dozen friends scattered some running for PRs and a few for BQ.
20,000+ runners lined Bay street and ....OFF we go!!!!!!
"Focus....I said to myself....forget all the "crap" about cancer and focus if you want this"
so I did. I'm a solo runner, so Michael and I got separated, I like to "zone" and cannot converse like others can. I like feel my runs and talking doesn't do it for me!
If you ever ran a Marathon you will know the feeling when you run by supporters that cheer on the runners to the point of goose-bumps. You will also know the hard effort after the half point and who doesn't know the "wall" at mile 20.
Mile 21 was brutal on me, the physical fatigue had taken a toll on my body but still had energy to finish it.
What I was facing I had not prepared for, it was mental anguish of "things" to come....cancer? surgery? Should have I done it early on....what if i had...now I would be running cancer free instead of carrying the cancer with me for 26.2miles. That thought went on and on. With only 4+ miles to the Finish I was going to quit....but I never quit a race and for many reasons I did not want to quit this one. I wanted to be stronger than that "thing" and take it cross the finish line and get rid of it for good 12 days later.
To my left I felt a soft touch on my shoulder when I looked over I saw my friend Barry running along side of me! That gave me new energy and took my mind off the "crap"I was thinking. We ran together side by side passing each other occasionally only to slow down and wait for one another. The unspoken rule of friends running together in a race and helping seeing each other cross the Finish Line. Last turn and in front of us is the straight line to the Finish Line with Barry on my side and both of us looking pretty strong crossed the 26.2 mark.!
Nov. 15th 2012
The surgery was a success, the next day I got to go home and recovery would take 2-4 weeks. A pathology report on the tumors was to determine the type of cancer and any further action needed! Four days past surgery the Surgeon called me with great news: No signs that cancer had passed through the blood vessels of the tumors. So we are free of cancer and some of the lymph nodes that are still swollen will go down on their own!
I did not expect any better news and still very sore from the surgery I signed up for a Half Marathon for Feb. 2nd 2013. This time I hired a real life coach I had enough of "training programs" I want things to be right, now that I'm starting over! Two weeks after my surgery I had my first follow up, "everything looks pretty good" said my surgeon "except these lymph nodes are not going down, we'll give them four more weeks and re-check them" "no problem, I'll be back in four weeks.....Doc can I start running?", he looked at me over his glasses and said: "as long as you don't hurt you can run, but promise me you'll stop if it hurts"..."you got it" I said. I felt like a kid on a brand new bike that day.
Dec. 21st 2012
Training is going great and legs and heart are getting stronger and only 5 weeks till the Half. My six week follow up with the surgeon was today! A brief exam and with a concerned look I hear him say... we will have to have more surgery to remove cancer....this one is going to be a Big Operation we will remove lymph nodes from both sides of the groin area and your abdomen. You will have no lymph nodes from the waist down and lymphatic fluids will not be able to drain from your legs therefore your legs will be swollen and you will not run again!
I don't know why ...but I got so mad at him (but he was just the messenger). What gives anyone the right to say to someone "you will not run again" Thoughts flashed through my minds a a rate of millions. I felt drunk! I hopped down from the exam table and I walked towards the door. I was done here, did not have anything to ask, he told me everything I did not want to hear. He stopped me and said "Takis, I will keep your chart by my desk I will not let you do nothing about this, If you don't do something you will not be here for the November Marathon next year." I told him that I had a friend that I would like to talk to before I decide what to do, even if it is ...doing nothing!
The next few hours were very dark! I rode around thinking what is my life coming to and would I be able to cope with swollen legs and constant threat of deadly infections and no running?? I would be a different person, one my friends and loved ones would not recognize much less accept.
My first step was to talk to my running friend, the one that crossed the Marathon Finish line with me , Barry, Dr. Berry Luskey MD of oncology.
Barry and his family were vacationing in Europe for the Holidays and although we spoken a time or two I did not want to upset him and ruin his vacation so I waited till he came back to work and visited him at his office.
Right away he said it was an extremely rare cancer and he enlisted the help and expertise of a Professor of Urology in Austin TX who is an expert in surgery of this type of cancer and a professor from YALE who is also an expert and an oncologist. These experts have a study of 60 cases of research combined.
After a long week of discussions and different scenarios Barry said "the only chance we have beating this cancer is 3-4 cycles of chemo for 3 days (in the Hospital) every 3 weeks, then a surgery will follow that will remove all lymph nodes affected and hopefully will not be as severe as originally thought since most of the cancer will be killed"
He gave me the studies from both Doctors for me to review and get an idea of this cancer, Both studies included the "survival" rate, not sure if Barry gave those studies to me so he wouldn't have to tell me in case I had ask, but one study was 20% and the other was 38% survival.
To me those numbers do not mean a lot. They are just historical numbers of what has happened in the past to other people. It's like looking in your rear-view mirror in your car at all thing you past by. I'm only interested in what's ahead of me!
Race Time
2/2/2013
In between all these head spinning events I would schedule races and train as hard as I could. It was a way to keep my mind clear my body fit and each race was another benchmark on my real fight yet to come!
My next race was a Half Marathon. I had trained for it and was ready, my coach Jason Fitgzerald was very confident I would PR (set a Personal Record for the specific race distance) my friends and family were just as confident.
Race day was a cold but calm morning, perfect weather for running. About 1000 runners gather at the start line chute the speakers are blaring Ozzy Osborne's "crazy train" as the starting gun goes off and ....off to the races as they say!
I ran this race "indifferent" as if I did not care. I was doing something I loved but yet it felt like I really did not want to be there! Somehow I continued on doing what I knew I was good at. I "never quit" a race and this is NOT the time to start. "This is my last race before chemo and it has to be a good one...I cannot go out a quitter" this was my mantra for this race.
After 13.1 miles into the race I crossed the finish line grabbed my finisher's medal and looked at the clock that said I was 9 minutes faster on the course and a new PR by 2 min for a Half.
Happy about my time I waited for Lisa and other friends to cross the line.
"How' you feel" everyone would ask me. "Well, I'm not in pain and never was, and if it weren't for my Doctors to tell me I was sick, I wouldn't know it. I feel great and healthy as a horse" and this was the honest truth!
One more race
Sitting back on my couch with my laptop laying on me looking at the results of the race from that morning I noticed a small window advertising a Half for next Saturday. "There is a Half Marathon in Hilton Head next Saturday I think I will do it" I told Lisa. She looked at me and believing in me she says "Do It, I can see another PR coming honey, I will be there for you". She injured one of her toes at the last race and was talking off for a couple of weeks.
That night Barry told me that this cancer was the worst kind for chemo since it was very resistant to the regiment! "We need to act quickly" he said. "OK Barry let me have this week coming up to tie up some ends and ...let's do it" I replied
Two hours later I got a text from him "you have a room at the hospital for 2/12/13 be there at 8:30am, be prepared to stay for 3 days I will meet you there...Barry"
Feb 9th 2013
Hilton Head Island
What a beautiful day to run! A cool crisp sunny morning on a beautiful course. This race felt different before it even started. There weren't going to be any more Saturday races for awhile if ever! This one will have to be very special. This one will have to count for "something". I remember being so relaxed at the start but very engaged. When I focus on my runs I eventually "zone" and that is an unforgettable feeling. I have control of every muscle, every sense and everything vital to the run down to the twitching muscles. That's how it happened that day. 200 yards before the finish line I saw Lisa as she jumped in the race and ran beside me till I crossed the finish line. Not just a New PR by 4 minutes but I reached my 2013 goal of a sub 2 hour Half Marathon with 1:57:11 and it was only February!
Cheers with a cold beer and high fives followed the celebration. "What's your next race?" I was asked by a fellow runner. I went ...blank! I did not know what to say. I did not know if I ever going to race much less being at a race. "I'm training for an Ultra" I responded quickly and smiled. "Oh yes I forgot you guys (referring to my son Michael, Lisa and I) are hard core!" He said smiling.
Driving home that afternoon after the race I was thinking nothing but, what Barry told me about this cancer being very resistant to chemo. I asked him how can I prepare for it and his reply was simple....you can't prepare, nothing you can do to prepare!
ULTRA Training
If it's one thing I know it is how to make the best out of the worst situation. I cannot accept "nothing" and I will not accept "everything". While on the drive home I looked at Lisa and said "tonight I'm starting a carbo-load and hydration for an Ultra", she smiled and knew exactly what I have been thinking the whole time. "I only have three days but I can do it" I said. "I know you can honey, you're amazing that way" she replied.
Got home and I started my carbo loading as If I have a race next week. They say chemo steals your appetite so a little extra weight and good hydration may help. Who knows!!
Six meals a day with whole grains pasta, rice, breads and other carbs and lots of Protein to overcome the fatigue they're talking about experiencing during chemo. My Ultra nutrition went on for three days. For those of you that know about Ultras you know that no matter how much you hydrate and carb-up you will need nutritional re-enforcement during the Ultra. So I bought snacks and protein bars that will be at my bedside available when I need them.
The plan worked! Two pounds heavier I felt that I had enough energy to run at least a Marathon!
Life is Fair
When bad things happen to us we feel like life threw us in a corner or life is not as good to us as to others or life is unfair, and I hear this a lot. I think everything happens for a reason.
Two years ago while I was walking my dog we came across another dog and at the end of her leash was a beautiful woman with angelic emerald green eyes and the biggest smile. "Hi, this Sheila" she said pointing to her dog. "And this is Bella" I said pointing to mine! While Sheila and Bella were busy sniffing each other we introduced ourselves and made a small conversation about "nothing". I remembered seeing her once before loading an artist easel in the back of her car. My brain was processing information faster than any electronic processor Bill Gates ever built. Finally it came to me " there's is a sidewalk art contest this Saturday at Forsyth Park, wanna go?". the answer was "I'd love to". Soon I discovered that the angelic green eyed woman I had met also had a heart of Platinum , so i stole it and in return I gave her everything that was inside me, except the cancer of course.
Lisa has stood next to me since the beginning and has been my strong pillar in this sickness. She cheered me on, she admired my efforts, she kept me going and slept on the chair next to my hospital bed during my surgery. Without her in my life things would be very different now. So... for me, Life is fair, no complaints!
Feb 12th 2013
Day One
Let the fun begin!
Admissions 8:30am. Lisa and I sitting in the "welcome area" waiting for the clerk to take another sip of her coffee and fill out my paperwork so I can go up to my room.
8:45am, IV goes in with the saline solution to get things going! Barry comes in and shuts the door behind him. Pulls a stool close to me and goes over the procedure of the 3-day chemotherapy. Glancing back and forth between Lisa and I, he goes over the side affects and some of the permanent damage chemo can cause. He looks at me and said " this is the real stuff, it will make people very sick there is not anything stronger you can have".
"....Gulp...let's kill some of the bastards Barry" I said to him.
"Are you ready for this?" he asked as he looked at both Lisa and I. All three of us looked at each other in silence.
"Go ahead make my day....doc" I said looking at him. He smiled big and said a firm "OK" and left the room.
A series of medicine pills, injections and more bags hanging from the IV, followed soon.
Was I scared....no I wasn't. I had Lisa next to me and Barry, my friend, was my Oncologist.
I was in good hands. All I had to do now is surrender and hope that "stuff" isn't as bad as they say.
The time came and my nurse shows up with the first chemo bag. This one will drip for 3 hours she said. She set it up and I watched the stuff going down the plastic tube, drop, drop, drop, and then stopped for a brief moment. That repeated 3 drops and a small break till the entire bag emptied into my veins. Amazingly did not feel a thing!!!! No side affects yet!
"How you feel" asked Jenn, my nurse. "I feel normal" I replied. "That's really good", she said, "we will start the second chemo after this "recovery" bag goes through and flushes your kidneys". And we did, Chem no. 2 was now dripping into my veins. Still no reactions to the chemo !!!!
Two hours later and done with the second bag of chemo.
"Time for the last one for the day" said Jenn as she hooked up Chemo no. 3
Two hours went by and all three Chemo drugs were slowly swimming inside me.
Feb 13th 2013
Day Two
After very little sleep, because of all the activity in the room by nurses, techs and RAs coming and going all night, the sun started to come up! Day One was over! Still nothing as far as side effects of chemo.
Lisa arrives early and my beautiful daughter Jennifer brings me coffee from Starbucks and hand-drawn "get well" pictures from my 5 year old twin granddaughters. Barry comes to the room, "how do you feel?" he asked "I feel normal, nothing changed" I replied. "Barry, are you trying to be nice to me and started me off on a low potency?" I asked.
"No, you've got the REAL DEAL" he said.
"Then why don't I feel it? is not working ?" I inquired.
"Is working, your body is accepting it better than others" he said.
At this point I let Barry into my secret. "Barry you know, I carbed up and hydrated for an Ultra before I came in yesterday. Do you think that may have a role into how I feel today" Barry looked at me as he had expected me to have done that, he tilted his head to the side and with a smile he said "may be!!!", "let's see what today will bring" he continued!
Before long Chem 2 was in the veins and then Chem 3. Chem 1 only is given on the first day of each cycle. In the mean time the re-fueling of my body was going on more Protein bars healthy snacks and juices. Not much on hydration since all those fluids had me going to the bathroom every hour.
Feb 14th. 2013
Happy Valentine's Day
Day Three
It is finally here the dawning of the last day. Day three!
Lisa arrives with Starbucks, and a big basket of Valentine's goodies. Jennifer comes with more hand-drawn messages from the twins and Valentines goodies!
Barry comes to check on me. "How you feel?" he asked "Same as yesterday, nothing, I feel normal". "That's good" he said. We spent a little time talking about running and then he writes down supplements he wants me to start taking when I get home!
"Let me know if I can do anything for you" he said as he walked out the room to start his rounds.
OK this was it, the last chemo day and we'll see what happens.
Chem 2 goes in followed by chem 3. That night I felt a little nausea coming. I remember Barry telling me to ask for a pill as soon as I feel it coming or it won't be as effective. I took the pill and that was the end of nausea.
Time to go home
First Cycle of Chemo is done! Glad to be home in my comfortable surroundings.
I slept a lot during this day. The nausea pill made me drowsy and I took one as soon as I got home! I spent the entire day at home lying around listening to music and only went outside a couple of times to walk my dog Bella.
One More Run
Saturday morning is my favorite time of the week. The neighborhood is quite not many cars on the roads and the mood is always right for a run. I had a good breakfast and did a few stretches waited for Lisa to get up and laced up for a run. My first run with two gallons of poison in me! Honestly I did not know what to expect.
We took off together and ran at an easy pace for 3 miles. My ankles felt weak and my calf muscles felt like they were fading. My heart rate was very elevated as if I was carrying 50lbs extra with me. At the end of the three mile route we were almost back to our front door,. Lisa leaned over, gave me a kiss and said "I will continue on for another mile and be back", I smiled and said "Have fun, be careful".
As I went inside I thought, two weeks ago it would have been me saying to Lisa "Ok, honey I've to get another 7-8mi in, I'll see you in about an hour or so" and kept going.
I'm so happy to have this run in!
I'm motivated and now I know that Chemo is not the end but only a process and as long as I can help it.... I will run another day!
No comments:
Post a Comment